Choosing Your Spouse: Qualities to Look for in a Partner

by | Jul 9, 2024 | Communication, Marriage | 2 comments

Photo by Nghia Trinh

Choosing your spouse is not easy, and it takes a lot of time and effort, along with the relationship you have to build for years.

Certain characteristics, such as empathy and respect, can improve mental health and long-term relationship success. They also make learning how to communicate with your partner a lot easier. When it comes to partners and marriages, Donald Marcus Welch‘s book The Love I Thought I Knew can help many readers choose who their spouse will be.

But with that said, let’s go ahead and look at some of the qualities anyone should look for if they want to have a life-long partner!

1. Look for Someone With Empathy

Empathy, to put it simply, is the capacity to identify and comprehend the needs and feelings of another person. Even though it may not immediately come to mind, compassion is essential for successful relationships. According to a 2022 study (Trusted Source), relationship satisfaction and empathy are related.

Compared to partners who lack empathy, empathetic partners are more prone to feel insecure and alone if they’re unhappy. Furthermore, having an empathic partner makes us seem more valued and understood in a relationship. This contributes to a feeling of fulfillment and fosters mutual respect and trust.

image of African-American couple smiling and looking at each other showcases why choosing your spouse is a good way to go
Photo by Git Stephen Gitau

2. The Qualities of a Good Spouse Is That They Listen and Are Open

Problem-solving is hindered if your spouse doesn’t actively listen during arguments and instead waits for their next chance to voice their opinion. Moreover, having the impression that your viewpoint isn’t being valued might lead to sentiments of annoyance, bitterness, disdain, and “not being seen.”

3. Knowing When to Marry Is When Your Partner Has a Solid Foundation

This has little to do with mortar and bricks in the human sense. Rather, it’s about having financial, social, emotional, and physical roots. This does not require them to have the status of the most well-liked, wealthy, successful, or physically fit individual. However, they must be capable of supporting themselves independently in every area of life or actively working toward doing so.

These things will help your relationship, but they will also help you. You won’t have to fill in the voids left by someone who takes ownership of their own well-being regarding security, confidence, and self-worth.

Choosing your spouse is not just about knowing the qualities to look for in a life partner. At the end of the day, as Donald Marcus Welch has mentioned in his book, “In essence, the ones that you feel will be there for a lifetime, you have to really make sure that they are lifetime people.

image of couple sitting down on stool as they look at the wonderful view making them understand why choosing your spouse is necessary
Photo by Andre Furtado

4. They Show You Affection When You Need It and How You Like It

Everybody has a varied preference for how they express and receive affection. Some people are very tactile, while others display their love through useful deeds. However, in a relationship, this can cause dissatisfaction and even sentiments of rejection if they don’t line up.

Look for a partner that, to put it loosely, expresses their love and gratitude for their partner in a manner that is in line with what gives you a sense of being noticed and loved. One of the fundamental concepts of Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, which he developed in the 1980s, is this.

5. Finding Love Is Finding Someone Who Can Communicate Effectively

As they say, effective communication is essential. It’s also critical that your spouse be attentive to your needs and worries, even if they can communicate themselves. Boosting feelings of connection and closeness is facilitated by the open and honest sharing of needs and feelings.

Our lives are made easier by communicative partners. Naturally, effective communication requires effort. However, a few actions, like frequent check-ins, can assist in maintaining focus.

image of happy couple eating fruits in their house and why choosing your spouse is the right thing to do
Photo by Jack Sparrow

Take the Task of Choosing Your Spouse More Seriously

You can decide if your spouse is the ideal person to walk life’s journey with you by recognizing attributes that mean something to you. If you need more help, Donald Marcus Welch’s book The Love I Thought I Knew can assist you. You can get it by clicking here.

Grab a copy of the book today, and don’t forget to check out our other articles so that saving love by knowing when marriage counseling is needed is possible!

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2 Comments

  1. Reginald McBride

    Nice! Now I know what qualities I should be on the lookout for. Hope I find my special someone soon!

    Reply
  2. Katherine Lindsey

    There are many good qualities to look for, but my heart never listens to these.

    Reply

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