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Donald Marcus Welch’s non-fiction books My Lost Identity and Hiding My Unhappiness are both explorations on the theme of identity: what it means to be someone and how people can be more mindful of each other, especially those who are most vulnerable, like children.

Living in a World of Masks

We live in a world that is obsessed with authenticity or, at least, a surface-level understanding of it. Constantly, children are told to be themselves, to let their true colors shine, and to embrace vulnerability.

Yet, when they are thrust into the adult world, they cannot help but start wearing their masks.

In a world that is as duplicitous as ours, we have to navigate our lives wearing our masks as many as they are, carefully curated for whatever situation and strategically deployed.

These invisible masks we adopt–the faces we present to the world–are extremely helpful in coping with the darkness that this world offers, but what happens when we wear them for too long? Are we still ourselves if we live with masks on, or do we become the masks that we wear?

How We Hide Ourselves in Our Daily Lives

There are perhaps as many masks as their people in the world. The spectrum of social masks is vast and varied, tailored to specific contexts and relationships, but we can more or less categorize them according to the situations in which they are employed.

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• The Professional Mask. This is the mask we wear when we want to appear competent, confident, and composed. We wear this mask when we are at work, smiling and laughing with our colleagues and superiors despite a deep melancholy with our jobs.
• The Mask of Resilience. This is a frequent mask that is thrust upon many of us. This is characterized by resilience, stoicism, and emotional invulnerability. We suppress our pain, grief, or fear, presenting a facade of unwavering strength to the world. This mask is a coping mechanism in the face of adversity, but it prevents us from processing difficult emotions and seeking the support we need.
• The Face of Conformity. This mask is about fitting in and avoiding standing out. We might suppress our unique opinions, conform to social norms, and avoid behaviors that might draw unwanted attention. This mask can provide a sense of belonging and security, but it can also stifle our individuality and prevent us from expressing our true selves.

Why Do We Start Wearing Our Masks?

The reasons behind our masking behavior are complex and multifaceted.

Often, it is because we want social acceptance. Humans are social creatures, craving acceptance and belonging. Thus, wearing our masks helps us align ourselves with others, gaining their approval and avoiding their judgment.

This is because a mask can help us manage the perceptions of others. It is also a way for us to project ideal aspects of ourselves onto the world, even if we have yet to reach those standards ourselves.

These masks also serve as self-protection. Often, the world despises deviance. Our invisible masks can sometimes be our greatest shield, protecting us from criticism and ostracization. By hiding our genuine selves, we find more opportunities to survive.

Society imposes various roles and expectations on us, and we often adopt masks to fulfill roles. We might act differently as parents than we do as friends or as bosses than we do as subordinates.

And, sometimes, we wear masks out of habit. We might have learned certain behaviors and personas from our families, our culture, or our past experiences.

Over time, these behaviors become ingrained in our interactions, and it becomes too difficult to separate our masks from our true identities.

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Will We Always be Wearing Our Masks?

Becoming your true self and taking off your mask is a journey, not a destination.

It will take time, effort, and courage to peel back the layers of persona and reveal our true selves. There will be moments of discomfort and vulnerability, but the rewards are immeasurable.

When we decide for ourselves that we want to be true to ourselves and to the world, it’s about daring to be seen, not as the polished, perfected version we present to the world, but as the beautifully flawed, uniquely human individuals we truly are. And in that vulnerability, we find our true strength.

Donald Marcus Welch’s books are available for purchase on this page. Order a copy now and expand your horizons by clicking on the link provided.