Why Absentee Fathers Are Not a Joke

Photo by Katherine Chase 

The play A Dad’s Unexpected Battle has a very straightforward title. It is about how many people take fatherhood for granted, leading to a lot of unexpected (and uncomfortable) realities about families that don’t have it. 

A play like this should be a stern reminder that absentee fathers are not a joke. So many standup comedians (and wannabe comedians on the internet) think it’s something they can make silly pictures of and laugh about. 

Meanwhile, real kids from real broken homes are growing up with a plethora of psychological issues. According to some statistics, fatherless families are four times likely to live in poverty. This leads to a whopping increase of kids dropping out of school, engaging in criminal behavior and becoming juveniles. 

And yet, some still think they can just drop some one-liners about absentee fathers and most people actually enable them by laughing along. 

This needs to stop. 

It is exacerbating an already dire situation here in America. It is a light treatment of a topic that should never, under any circumstances, be treated lightly. 

Unfortunately, as with a lot of things that lead to broken marriages, we here in America would rather drown out our marital woes with cheap humor and cheap booze than face the truth.

The Sciences Show It’s a Serious Matter

Photo by Ali Mkumbwa 

Some might argue that the perspective proposed in the play is narrow despite the fact that many of the scenarios are based on real stories and from real broken homes. But contrary to certain agendas, the idea of a father being a protective figure for a family’s daughters is not some religious myth. 

There is plenty of science demonstrating what happens when fathers are absent. It is not a coincidence that girls from broken homes are more likely to suffer: 

• Physical abuse
• Sexual exploitation
• Teen pregnancy
• Substance abuse
• Distorted values 

As stated at the start of the book, being a father means being a “protector, provider and knight in shining armor.” This is not some make-believe image. This has been the real, important cornerstone for families across history and even to today. 

It shouldn’t take a master’s degree to see what happens when a family is without a protector. The kids (especially the daughters) are vulnerable to all sorts of predators. The same goes with being provider. A father isn’t just there to provide financial and material support, but also should be there to provide counsel and guidance. To make fun of a situation like that is to make fun of an entire family the is currently vulnerable both now and the future.

It Mocks a Broken Marriage

 It is also no surprise that the people who make light of absentee fathers tend to also make light of divorce. Isn’t it bad enough that marriages in America already have a 43% divorce rate? Why must we still insist on laughing at this problem rather than tackle it like the epidemic that it is? 

Absentee fathers are not a joke because they are the product of broken marriages. It is an exact demonstration of a snowball effect. If a marriage is unhappy and the couple is just masking it, then the risk of separation and other problems only shoot up. 

The snowball just then gets bigger and bigger as it rolls down, picking up more unresolved issues. The unhappy marriage leads to a divorce, or worse, the father just ups and disappears. And because there is no father, the kids end up on the streets while eating up toxic influences that they should’ve been shielded from. 

The fact that this type of story is so common that comedians think it’s worth joking about has got to be one of the biggest American tragedies nobody talks about. The more these problems are unresolved, then the more problems that the entire nation is going to be drowned in.

It Victimizes Men

Photo by Samuel-Elias Nadler 

Perhaps the most troubling reason why absentee fathers are not a joke is that it is ultimately a victimization of men. 

You read that right: Men can be victims, too. 

One need only look up the statistics on America’s incarceration rates to get a glimpse. The nation’s prisons are filled with plenty of disillusioned, battered, and misguided young men who grew up in a fatherless home. 

Yet rather than discourage the jokes, it seems the entertainment industry would rather capitalize on their tragedy for comedy. 

That’s not all though. Did you know that only about a third of divorces in the U.S. are initiated by men? What kind of picture does that paint, when a system encourages mothers to separate from fathers and take the kids with them? 

There is a harmful narrative gaining traction where men are only painted as abusers who beat their kids and their wives. All the issues that led to a broken home are somehow woven to cast men as culprits while hypocritically denying them the listening ear that they equally deserve. 

For all the talk about acknowledging the struggles of single moms, less is given to the pressure, scrutiny, mockery and lack of faith that many fathers have been forced to put up with time and time again. 

Clearly, enough is enough. Absentee fathers are not a joke.

Now if you’ve read this and want to see work that knows how to tackle this issue seriously, then please check out the transcript of my play A Dad’s Unexpected Battle. You can get it easily on Amazon.